Thursday, April 8, 2010

I hate today.

Today was just one big binge and purge. Like really, what happened? I told myself that this time, I would not be bulimic... Well obviously that's not happening! I purged more today that I ever have during one time period in my life. Sure, I purged back in high school, but never this much. And I always purged actual binges, not stupid stuff.
My first go-around was with this stupid chocolate egg that my mom sent me for Easter. I ate about half of it in one sitting (about 300 calories) and decided that I really needed to purge it. The second time, I ate the other half of the freaking egg and purged it. And finally, the last time, I ate dinner with my sorority and had some cake and cookies and way too many noodles, and starting freaking out and left early to purge. Especially the last time (dinner), I purged a lot. It was super ridiculous. Basically, none of the times I purged were actual binges. Sure, they might have had more calories than I wanted to consume, but they were nothing compared to the binges that I used to do. What is WRONG WITH ME??
OH! And during the second purge session over the rest of the chocolate egg, I got vomit in my eye. Yah. It was the single most disgusting thing that has been in my eye. Ugg. So basically, today sucked ass.
And now my throat really hurts from all the purging, and my stomach is confused as to why there is food coming out of it, instead of going into it. Basically, it was a fail day. If tomorrow isn't better, I will cry.

*EDIT* To further atone for my bad eating, I worked out on the stationary bike for 30 minutes and ran for 20 minutes during a sorority sisterhood event, plus did a bunch of sit-ups and push-ups, burning a total of 800 calories. I feel slightly better about myself now :) OH! And I weighed myself and I'm down to 184 pounds! Yay goal weight!


  1. oh babe i'm the same - my bingeing used to be controlled and my restricting much better, now i don't know what's happening to me!
    WELL DONE on the exercise though :)
    keep it up hun. think thin. xoxxxx

  2. Thanks! Today has been much better, so I feel like I can do this :) Also, I still lost a pound, even though I ate badly yesterday, so that's good.

  3. my scales were broken. so the weight's hit me doubly hard. eugh! xoxxxxx

  4. Aww, I'm sorry :( Don't worry, you'll get it off.

  5. aw , I've beeen going over two weeeks , and I lost 4 kilos!!! but , After work , we get to take home sweets and stuff , and I friken just ate nearly all of them and felt ridiculousy disgusting because for so long , none of that fat stuff has been in my system:( so i vomited it all. Im so upset. I hate going to low points in which results in vomiting out my food. I dont want to do that, i was so scare though. Do you think I will put the 4 kilos back on !! please please help

  6. ah don't show me chocolates ! haha

    i kinda like being able to get rid of binges though hehe .. even though it sucks to lose control :(

  7. I know what you mean. I don't know what I would do if I couldn't purge!