Well, it couldn't last forever...

Waz up?? How are you all doing? I hope you're doing better than me. I was down to 174 this morning (only 0.8 pounds lost, but oh well). Unfortunately I blew it and binged/purged butter pecan ice cream this afternoon. I definitely got it all out, because after I finished puking all the cold, white goo into the toilet, I started puking up granola chunks that were soaked in Diet Sierra Mist (which is what I ate before I binged). I purged immediately after eating (so immediately that it was still cold when it came back up, wow...), so I probably got it all. But still, I'm crazy so I just want to be sure.

However, after my binge/purge this afternoon, instead of trying to salvage my day I ate a whole bunch for dinner at the moms' house... so I'm thinking that I had around 1500 to 2000 calories for the day :( Why am I so weak?? I will try to fast tomorrow, at least until dinner time. I may need to eat dinner with the moms tomorrow, but I'm sure I can eat lightly.

I am staying at the other moms' house this week (starting tonight). Normally I'd be thrilled that I could be alone, but I always binge like crazy in this house. I am terrified that I will mess up all the hard work I've done in the last week. I definitely already gained from what I ate today :( God, why the hell am I so weak???

I hate myself.