Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Thank you guys so much!

You guys have been so amazing. I never dreamed that I'd find so much support, although I guess I should have known, since you were all so amazing when I was starving! I am so glad to have you all :)

Today went alright, although I ended up eating a lot of candy... I figure that it's ok to give myself a couple of free days before I make myself not binge. If I keep trying to deprive myself of things I want, like candy, then I'll just binge more later I think.

I didn't count calories today (well, a little bit, but then I stopped myself). I didn't weigh myself this morning, although I really wanted to. I went grocery shopping this evening, and I stocked up on healthy things that I can eat for my meals. Here is my food plan:

- Granola with skim milk or vanilla yogurt
- Peanut butter and banana sandwich
- Low fat yogurt
- 1 Bartlett pear
- Red grapes
- Baby carrots
- Mixed nuts
Dinner (example, since every day will be different)
- Whole wheat pasta with marinara sauce
- Salad with low fat dressing
- Diet Coke
- Lots of WATER
- Vitamin Water Zero

I hope this will be good for me. I made the food plan with my boyfriend's mom. She follows a modified Weight Watchers plan, so these meals are based on a certain number of items in each food group, not calories. I feel like if I knew how many calories I was eating, I would get obsessive about it.

In other exciting news, I am going to get an appointment for a psychiatric evaluation! As you know, I work at a counseling clinic, and my bf's mom offered to get me in to see the psychiatric nurse. She can give me a psych evaluation and get me medications for my depression and anxiety disorders. I am really nervous, but hopeful that it will be helpful.

I really want this to work for me. My long-term goals are to a) be happy at whatever weight I'm at and b) to not use food to stuff down my feelings or deal with my problems.

Like I said, you guys are amazing. I love you so much, and I really appreciate you. THANK YOU. Stay strong everyone <3

**When I say "stay strong," I mean stay strong in whatever you are doing, whether that may be starving or recovery.


  1. That looks like a good plan, although a little low in protein. Try adding some fish or chicken to your evening meal a few times a week :)

    I'll think of you next week when I'm dancing. Use you as a talisman for courage to dance like I'm not surrounded by people in a room full of mirrors XD

    Have a good day hun, xoxo

  2. Great plan, sweetie. It sounds perfect. Unfortunately, I can't eat dairy or meat so I feel like I'm not getting enough of those seriously important food groups. But anyway, good luck darl!! <3

  3. Good luck with your new meal plan & with the eval! <3

  4. Looks like a grand plan! And ditto to what Peridot said def use protien! And take a multi vitamin with vitamin D and Iron :) Thanks for the stay strong I'm gonna need it :)

  5. I'm proud that you're taking care of yourself. I'll continue to follow your blog and support you in any way I can. You're stronger than I'll ever be.

  6. I LOVE your long term goals!! It sounds like you have really thought through things and know what you are working towards. Figuring out who you are and how you will be happy is a tough road (for everyone), but it sounds like you are using tools that will help you get there. You're very inspiring!


  7. Liz, i wish you the best of luck. I hope you recover fully and live the life you want. You are a amzing girl, and are beautiful no matter what weight you are at. I hope you are happy, and succeed in any goals you may have.

    ~Riki Ana