I tried to restrict today, and it almost worked out. Then I started thinking, why am I doing this? I am so unhappy right now. I become a different person when I am starving. I am withdrawn, unfriendly, and exhausted all the time. I am preoccupied with calories and counting and figuring out how much I want to weigh. It is just ridiculous. I think I will try to be normal for a bit. It might not work out, but I want to try to be happy again. I don't know why I try to self-destruct all the time. Is weight really everything?
I'm sorry to let you all down. I just hate my life right now and I want it to change. I love you guys :)