Exercise and Weight

This morning I went to work out with my friend at school. She wants to go regularly but wants a workout buddy because she knows she'll never go on her own. I have been thinking about getting a workout buddy or just going alone for a while, but haven't really acted on it. We were doing homework together last night, when she mentioned that she should really work out sometime. I suggested that we work out together, and we agreed to start with twice a week: Saturdays and Mondays. The workout this morning felt really good. I just did 30 minutes on the stationary bike, plus some stretching. I didn't push myself too hard, and I read a textbook while I biked. My heart rate still got pretty high for me, so I felt like it was a successful workout. I didn't do any weights or anything, because my friend wanted to go after we did the cardio. I had planned to do some weights, but I was fine with leaving without doing them. I used to panic when I didn't get my whole workout done, but I was fine this time.

I think the difference this time is that I'm exercising for my health, not to lose weight. Yes, losing weight would be a nice side effect, but working out is also really good for you, and that's why I'm doing it. I think having a workout buddy will be really good for me too, because she can recognize if I'm getting a little obsessive and reign me in.

While I was at the gym, I also weighed myself. I know, I really shouldn't have done that, and I'm regretting it. The gym has two scales, although neither is really accurate. The digital scale is about 10 pounds off (makes you look lighter than you are) and the doctor-style scale is about five pounds off (makes you look heavier). I weighed myself on both and came to the conclusion that I'm 195 pounds.
Eeek!
When I saw that number, I was not happy. Remember a while back, I said that I would freak out if I was over 190 pounds? Well, I'm there. And I'm freaking out a little. I DO NOT want to be 200 pounds again. I worked really freaking hard to get below 200 pounds, and I'm not going to wreck that. I want to lose a little weight and get back to 185, but I also don't want to trigger myself into relapse. I think the key is that I am eating a lot of dessert, and I need to cut back on that. Would it be alright to limit myself to only having dessert at dinner? I don't know. I'm nervous about that.

Ok, I have a shit-ton of homework, so I better get on it. I think taking five classes, having two jobs, and being  in a sorority was a mistake... Love you guys! I really appreciate you, and I just want you to know that. Stay strong <3