Sunday, September 12, 2010
I think my boyfriend and I are breaking up...
My boyfriend Aaron has this 14 year old friend named Sara. They've been going to this summer camp together since they were really little and they're best friends. Unfortunately, Sara is completely in love with Aaron, and he has feelings for her sometimes too. Two summers ago, when we had been dating for about six months, he went to camp and came back thinking he had feelings for her. He also texts her constantly and tells her a lot of stuff that he doesn't tell me. He goes to Madison to visit her a lot too.
Yesterday was one of those visits, and he was gone all day. He came back last night around midnight, and we were going to have some sexy time and sleep over at his room. In the middle of making out, I suddenly had a thought and asked him if he still had feelings for Sara. He said that he didn't have sexual feelings but he felt like he needed to protect her. I asked him if he felt that way about me, and he said no, he didn't think I needed protecting. Then I asked him if he wanted to be with her, and he said not now. Meaning he does want to be with her in the future. Then we talked a lot about our relationship and he mentioned that he didn't think we would still be together in graduate school. He doesn't think that he wants to have a long-term relationship with me, and he doesn't like living with me. Last year we lived together and I was really unhappy and we fought a lot, but that was mostly because of my ED and depression. I asked him if he wanted to try living together again, now that I'm happier, but he said he didn't think it would work out.
At this point, his meds wore off and he started freaking out, so the conversation pretty much ended. The impression I get is that I am just an in-between relationship while he waits for Sara to get older. I don't want to be in a relationship that I know is going to end in two years. I also don't want to be used like that.
We talked again this morning, and he apologized and took back some of the things he said last night. But they can't be unsaid. He can't just say he's sorry and expect me to be alright with everything again. I've been ignoring the Sara situation since the first month of our relationship, but I just can't anymore. We've been together for two years at this point. Monday is our anniversary. When he talks to her, it's like he's having an emotional affair, and that's not fair to me. I told him that if he wants to stay with me, he has to cease all contact with Sara. Of course, he said he couldn't do that. So I told him that I wanted to take a break for a couple of days, and think things over. But I think I need to end it.
I really need some advice here guys. What do you think? Am I looking at this situation rationally? Thanks :)