Today was horrible. This morning at 1 am, my boyfriend's mom burst into my room and asked to borrow my car (which isn't really mine, it's my boyfriend's other parent's car) because her grown-up daughter was sick and needed to go to the ER. The first thing I asked was, "Why can't you take your partner's car?" The cryptic answer to that was something about the partner needing to go to Sam's in the morning so she didn't want to lend the car out. WHAT? So I said yes, immediately regretting it. It's not my car, and she's a horrible driver, and it was the middle of the night. Plus, do I really want a sick person in my backseat, potentially puking or something?? Then I found out (after my bf's mom left with my car) that her partner doesn't want to lend her the car because she doesn't like that my bf's mom supports her daughter (who is grown and has a four year old son, but is developmentally disabled and bipolar). SO now I'm stuck in the middle of this fight between them, which will likely end in one of them leaving... fabulous.
I only got about four hours of sleep because of this fiasco, so I was exhausted this morning. Then I got to work, and a series of events occurred:
1) I had a confrontation with the psychiatric clinic coordinator, in which I yelled at her and thought I might lose my job (although I didn't, my boss backed me up).
2) My boyfriend's mom told me that the Google calendar system that I put into place might have to be pulled or completely changed, because she didn't think it through before she let me put it into place the first time. Fuck my life.
3) I kept getting dragged into the whole fight between my boyfriend's parents during the whole day, which doesn't sound like much, but I work for them and live with them, AND I can't say anything about their fight to my friends at the office because they work for my bf's parents too, so it would be inappropriate.
Plus I just got hassled by clients and generally hated my day. Death.
But the good news is, I know I can have bad days too! I was a little worried when I started the Lexapro that I wouldn't be able to have bad days, only good days, and that's not how life works. But now I know :) There's still me here, underneath all the happiness and energy!
Well, everyone have a great evening! I love you all :) Stay strong <3
Yay for the good day & ick for the bad stuff. Hope you have more good days than bad! <3
ReplyDeleteI was on Lexapro for a bit, like... for six months, in fact, before they put me on Zoloft which is much better for me. But just to warn you, that when I was on it, while it did deal with my anxiety really quite well, it did it by completely numbing everything. So you miiiiight find that once it really kicks in full force (took nearly three weeks for me) that you get neither particularly good nor particularly bad days. More sort of... "days" =P Average days. Not exceptional in any way. Slightly better than normal or slightly worse, "normal people" ups and downs... it feels really weird though when you're used to extremes like I was, aha...
ReplyDeleteYeah. BTW I'm neither a new reader nor a stalker, I just tend to get to your posts a few days after they're up and so usually everybody's commented what I'd want to say anyway >.> So I'll wish you a somewhat belated congratulations on your decision to go into recovery =] I really hope it works out for you, 'cause you seem pretty awesome, just from reading your shizzle. =]
Aw, I hope things start to work themselves out babe!
ReplyDeleteTake some time out for yourself, to do something FOR you that YOU enjoy. Be purely selfish for a little space of time where you enjoy a bath or a toenail pain or something. I know it sounds stupid and overly easy (and it is. Both) but in small ways it will shift your focus.
ReplyDeleteGlad to hear that as hell-ish as your day sounded, you're not bogged down by it. Hopefully your Lexapro is working good for you!
Your day sounds hectic, here, take a virtual hug:
ReplyDelete*hugs to death*.
:]
Much love. xx
You know it's kinda funny cuz when I was medicated with Welbutrin the first time, I felt like I had no creative ability cuz I was so fucking happy, nothing symbolic came to mind. Then I felt uncomfortable being happy so I was worried that everyday would be a good day, just like you did. And then the period came, and BOY was I proved wrong. You can still have extremely shitty days on meds, but I guess they would feel even worse if you weren't medicated, right?
ReplyDeleteThat's good that you don't go back to work and talk shit about his parents cuz that's how my mom lost her job! Don't EVER talk shit about the boss even if it's joking. Ya never know what could happen.
-Lund3on
I'm sorry you had such an awful day, but like you said, it's good to know that you can have bad days even on the medication! I hate being dragged in the middle of family problems, especially when they don't involve me and shouldn't involve me. That has got to be so hard. I hope tomorrow is better for you! xoxo
ReplyDeletelove? if you needed support you should have texted me! bad liz... well not bad liz.. just silly liz.
ReplyDeletelove you darlin.