Adult?

I used to go to Eating Disorders Anonymous (EDA) meetings when I was in high school. Portland, OR used to have a great meeting, started by a good friend of mine, and I went every week. Unfortunately, the meeting had irregular attendance and it dissolved around Christmas last year :( Anyway, the reason I'm telling you all this is because in EDA, there is a saying that I really like.

Be an adult. This takes training and practice. Get some.

I love that! It's completely true. When you turn 18, you are legally an adult. But I think it's very rare that 18 year-olds actually act like adults. I mean, think about it: most 18 year-olds are in college, partying their asses off and acting like idiots. Even those college students who don't party will still be making some irresponsible decisions. According to a study done by the National Institutes of Health, the region of the brain that inhibits risky behavior is not fully formed until age 25. So 18 year-olds are definitely not adequately equipped to be making responsible decisions!

What this means is that people our age (I'm assuming that most of you are near age 18, or older) have to practice being adults, because it obviously doesn't come naturally. And yet, we are expected to act like adults when we turn 18, whether we are ready or not. So what can you do to practice being an adult? Here are a few suggestions:

1) Use appropriate language and tone when having conversations. Don't let your emotions get the best of you, and stay calm in sticky situations. Be polite under every circumstance.
2) Always be thinking about how people would interpret your actions, and act accordingly. Act like the person you want to be perceived as.
3) Learn how to communicate. This may seem obvious, but lack of communication is the biggest problem in most relationships.
4) Know when to be serious and when to be silly. There is a time for work and a time for play.
5) Be open and honest about your faults and shortcomings. People will respect you more if you own up to your mistakes.
6) Go after what you want. Be assertive, but not aggressive or arrogant.

I want to mention that just because I am talking about acting like an adult, doesn't mean that I always do it. I'm not an expert. Just like eating disorder recovery, becoming an adult is a process. I celebrate progress, not perfection (in both recovery and adulthood). I hope you all will practice being adults, because practice makes progress.

You know I love you all <3 Stay strong, my little adults!