Thursday, June 2, 2011

So tired...

Hey girlies :) I'm doing better than I was a few days ago, which is good. I got a burst of inspiration and motivation yesterday evening, which led to me cleaning my room for 5 hours today. Why would it take five hours? Because I'm a pack rat who thinks that I might need everything at some point, so I don't throw things away. But today I recycled and threw away a shit ton of stuff, and I have another two bags of things that I don't want anymore to sort through/give to Goodwill. I'm exhausted now though.

I'm contemplating going to the gym, but I am so tired. I didn't get a ton of sleep last night because I was cleaning (I know, I'm weird), and I got up pretty earlier to go to this knitting circle thing. I had an eye doctor appointment and am trying a different brand of contacts for a week. And then I cleaned! So in short, I feel like I should work out, but I'm really sore from yesterday (I did some really hard cardio and had physical therapy) and I'm exhausted from cleaning. I don't know what I'm going to do.

Here's the thing: I think a normal person would say, "Ok, I cleaned a bunch today and I'm tired. I'll just skip the gym. That's fine." But since I'm not a normal person, I say, "Well, I did clean today, but that didn't burn as many calories as cardio and didn't get my heart rate up. And who cares of I'm sore? I should just push through it. Plus I'll feel guilty if I don't work out!" That's the kicker right there: guilt. Guilt gets me every time. I don't know if I should or shouldn't work out, but I probably will end up working out anyway because I'll feel guilty if I don't. Not healthy, I know.

See, this is the kind of thing that worries me. I really, really don't want this gym membership thing to get obsessive. But I can't change who I am. I will probably always feel guilty for not working out if I'd planned to, and for not going the full time that I'd planned for cardio (i.e. I did 32 minutes of biking instead of 35. Big deal, right? For me it is.). All I'm saying is, I have to watch it.

Ok, I'll go away now. I have a headache and I'm super tired. So long!

1 comment:

  1. I'd say DEFINITELY don't go! you're still sore and need time for your muscles to rest and repair themselves. Also cleaning is a great moderate all-over workout, so FUCK the gym for today! Kick the guilt out, it isn't welcome. You are NOT allowed to get all freaky and obsessive over this! If you start to, you're not allowed to go for a whole WEEK.

    (Liz, can you get your sister to enforce this :p)

    I'e had PTs breathing down my next every gym session for the last 5 years, I know a bit about training and shit by now from contamination :/

    If you ever get your scrawny ass down here I'll totally shout you a trip to the butterflies! Its 80%humidity, though. You'll wanna dress light and put on a big coat for the outside chill.

    Luffles you! Take care of yourself, ok?