Saturday, June 25, 2011

Weeeeek bleeeeh

Hey! I have officially finished a week of work, and it feels great. I am pretty much hating my job. I like kids, but a) my feet are killing me after a day of work because of my Achilles tendonitis, and b) the kids are fucking crazy. I am so glad it's the weekend, but I am having a hard time imagining how I'm going to get through 9 more weeks of this... My parents are out of town again this weekend, but no fun plans. Last night, and I ate Taco Bell (which I'm not really allowed to have usually, since my parents think I'm fat) and made s'mores in the microwave. DELICIOUS. Then I watched TV until 1 am. I slept till noon today, watched more TV, and I'm about to go see my gramma. We are going to shop for a new recliner for her, have dinner, and see a movie. My gramma is the coolest lady. I love her so much <3

Oh, I should mention that my hamstring is mostly fine (remember, I injured it on Saturday last week). It still bothers me some when I'm on the bike, but I'm taking it slow and trying to be careful.

In other news, I found a razor when I was cleaning my room the other day. I don't quite know what to do with it. I realize I should throw it away, but part of me wants to keep it, just in case. Stupid, I know. I'll probably throw it away this weekend. Bleh.

Also, I found this gem when reading some old journal entries: "Everything sucks balls. Life sucks balls. And that sucks, because I’m gay so I don’t like sucking balls. Lol."
Direct quote there. I am SO COOL. Ahahahaha :)

I'm starting to think that maybe I don't need therapy after all. Here's the thing: I feel good. Yes, I'm stressed out as hell because of my job. Yes, sometimes I feel like shit. Yes, sometimes I feel like self-harming, but I only think about it (briefly) and never do it. But honestly, since I got my medication dose upped, I feel great. I like myself, I'm happy, I laugh more, I don't want to kill my parents. I don't have flashbacks. I'm in therapy because I have flashbacks. And I really don't anymore. And even when I think about that bitch, I don't freak out much. I sure as hell don't forgive her, but I don't have a panic attack when I think about her. If I start thinking about exactly what might have happened, then it gets a little dicey. But otherwise, I'm good. I don't know. I have an appointment with my therapist on Monday. I guess I'll tell her this stuff, and we'll see how it goes. 

Finally, I have a cavity. I know, big deal. But it's my first one, and I'm freaking out a little bit. I have a filling scheduled for Monday (which, oopsies, is scheduled for 2.5 hours before my therapy appointment... I hope I don't look/talk funny during that). I'm scared! I don't want a filling! I don't want a cavity!! LAME. 

Ok... I have to go. BYE! I hope your weekends are fabulous. Stay awesome. 


  1. I'm glad you got though a week, though i'm sorry that your not a fan of it.

    And the pain feet. :(

    But I think you should throw that razor away. And you should keeping seeing your therapist. even if you feel better. Because it's good to keep someone around. Even if it's only once a month.

    And teeth suck lol. I have to get my wisdom teeth pulled soon. EKkk lol

  2. Give your Gramma a hug from me, ok? She sounds like a legend :)

    Lol, FUCK what they think. If you feel like eating junkfood once in a while, your perfectly entitled to! (HOW do you do microwave smores??)

    THROW THE RAZOR AWAY! Would you let a shopoholic get a new credit card? No! So biff the sharps!!

    Thank you for the comment. I'm still plodding. Yay for distractions in the form of Minecraft :x

    Love you so so so so so much <3