Thursday, June 9, 2011

Counting calories... :(

I have a confession: I'm counting calories. But I'm not sure it's in a bad, eating disordered way. Since I started working out, I've been thinking that I need to be healthier overall. So I joined this site called SparkPeople a few days ago, and it's been helping me track my calories eaten and burned. But I'm starting to think that maybe it isn't such a good idea. Here's why:

Tonight I went to my gramma's house to watch a movie and eat pizza. And when I remembered that we were eating pizza, I immediately panicked and was worried about the extra calories. Which is stupid, because I AM ALLOWED TO EAT PIZZA! I shouldn't be worried about the calories in the pizza; I should be worried about how hungry or full I am when I'm eating the pizza. I also had an experience a few nights ago where I couldn't sleep because I was super hungry, but I was afraid to eat because I had already had my allotted calories for the day. Soooo, I think that this counting thing is a bad idea. It's not super obsessive yet, but it is getting there.

But the good thing that has come out of this is some healthier meal habits forming. Instead of eating a large portion of granola for breakfast, I am going to start making peanut butter/banana smoothies, which sounds WAAAY better (and healthier, and has protein!). I'm also switching to fruits and veggies for snacks instead of tons of wheat thins. Not that I can't have wheat thins, but I should not eat half a bag of them in one sitting.

OH HEY, I might have a job opportunity! I met a girl last night at a church group who said that Old Navy is hiring some people for the summer (she works there). So I'm going to apply! YAY! I really hope I get it. NEEEEED MONEY!

Finally, I had a scare yesterday. Remember Isabel, the amazing woman that I was hooking up with and had feelings for? She texted me yesterday and told me that she had attempted suicide the previous day. She wasn't trying too hard, because she could have taken a lot more pills than she did. I think she didn't completely want to die. But still, it totally freaked me out. I'm really, really, really worried about her. I would be completely devastated if she died. I can't deal with this! NOT OK. I'm keeping a close eye on her (at least the best I can, since she's in Illinois and I'm in Oregon), just in case. I just can't lose her. I can't do it. I wouldn't survive.

Ok, lovies. It is sleepy time for me! I'm totally exhausted today. Have a great Friday!!
Oh, Rebecca Black...


  1. Counting calories is not always bad. If you want to keep your calorie defiction between 1200/1500 then thats fine. and work out healthy and not over stress your body.
    just ease into im sure you'll be fine :) xo

  2. I have stat through that video once.


    Even if she didn't fully mean it, its a good idea to keep an eye on her. This could be the cry for help before she finishes the job :/ *Huggles* I hope you're ok!

    NOT a good idea to be obsessive about Teh Cals unless you're being obsessive about making sure you're eating in a proper calorie range!! IT IS OK TO EAT PIZZA AND ITS OK TO EAT IF YOU'RE STARVING AND YOU'VE GONE OVER YOUR ALLOTTED INTAKE.


    My brekkie is either porridge with raisins 9Fiber and potassium) or an apple/banana sliced up in yoghurt. Omnomnomnom! Ick, did you even put anything on the crackers? D: Invest in some hummus or get some nuts ffs! Tasty, GOOD fats (The do exist, ask fish) and some protein to boot. Ick, straight crackers. Ick ick ick D:

    Lol, I'm gonna drop a metaphorical bomb on Student Health. "Yeah, since I last saw you I've developed disordered eating and lost nearly 1/5th my bodyweight, started SH again, attempted suicide fuck know how many times, raged out and destroyed my workplace, been through 2 different state-run therapy programs and seen 3 different therapists. Um, have I left anything out?" XD This is gonna be fun in a black kind of way.

    OMG CABLES!! *Dies of envy* Pics or it didn't happen! I wish I had more time to knit. I hate uni.

    Looooooove yooooooou! Take care of yourself, ok?


  3. Eek, did you get that comment or did blogger eat it? 0.0

  4. I love the tags on this post "wtf" lmao
    Ahahaha Friday... I sing this song all the time my besties want to kill me! It's not my fault its fkn catchy!
    I keep forgetting we are both from Oregon.. I was just there last month.. I miss it there.
    And you are allowed pizza! It's tastey and food is tastey for a reason!
    Just keep calm when you'll be fine babe!