Not much to tell here. I had two job interviews last Friday and I found out this Friday that I didn't get either job. I only have one (out of nine summer internships that I applied for) internship that hasn't rejected me yet... I'm slightly freaking out. I realize that even if the summer internship doesn't work out, something will happen and it will be ok. God will take care of me. But that doesn't mean that I can just forget about my anxieties and be completely fine, just like that. Ha. Yah right.
I did a 36 hour prayer fast with the Christian Fellowship group at my college this weekend. We started at 8 pm on Friday night and just broke our fast this morning at 8 am. Yesterday we spent the whole day together, praying, having fun, chilling out, and fellowshipping. It was really fun! And just what I needed too, because I had a craptastic Friday, so it was nice to have a fun, relaxing Saturday. The fasting part was a little dangerous and challenging for me, because of my history with fasting. Fasting was my absolute favorite thing to do when I was restricting. I LOVED fasting. It made me feel powerful, superior, clean, empty, beautiful, strong. I loved the feeling of complete emptiness. I loved that I had the willpower and cunning to avoid eating for days at a time. I once fasted for five days before I broke down and ate. Of course, my fasts always ended in binges, but usually some of the weight loss stuck.
Anyhooooo... I had a little bit of a food issue yesterday. I found myself afraid to drink the gatorade that we had available. I kept thinking about the calories and felt like it was cheating. Every time I've fasted before, I only drank water. Eventually, I had to tell a friend that I was freaking out and after that I was more able to make myself drink some gatorade and not obsess over it.
Thankfully, I was ok when we broke our fast this morning. Except I'm SUPER full right now and my stomach hurts :( But it was totally worth it. We were praying mostly for homelessness, which was really good. It was nice to focus only on God for the whole day.
Other than that, nothing much has happened, at least that I can remember. Oh wait! I started hooking up with my friend Isabel again. We hooked up for a bit in October and then I started getting jealous of her boyfriend so we stopped. But she's graduating in three weeks (noooo!) so I decided that I would ask her if we could do it again. We hooked up last night and it was freaking amazing. I felt great afterwards. So good. I have no words to describe it. Aaaaaahhhhh.
But yes. That's it. Love you all! <3
LIZ DARLING! I've missed you! We've both been away! I'm proud of the fast, the fellowship and the hookup ;) wink wink!
ReplyDeleteI'm so glad to see you in a busy/happy mood!
miss you tons lovely!
-xoxoxo
Wow, can you IMAGINE how sore her face was after having to hold her mouth just so for the artist to get all those sparklers on there?? 0.0 Damn do I wish my teeth were that nice, lol!
ReplyDeleteGood on you for telling someone you were having a freakout during the Prayer Fast! 'Tis good to reach for help and support when you need it *Cuddles* Ugh, indigestion BLOWS. Think digesting body-fuel thoughts and drink peppermint tea :) I hope it "passes" soon :p (SHITTY puns! Woop woop!)
Thank you for your kind comment :) Yeah, the thought of potentially losing my sight would keep me FARFARAWAY from diabulimia if I became diabetic. I love being able to see!! (I'm a spectraphile. LOVES me teh colourz!)
Ok, I'd better go do Uni-related things. I love you, gorgeous Liz! Have a great day <3
P.S.
ReplyDeleteLol, its so true. That place is full of my addiction. Pretty soft colours I can make things out of ^.^
Ooooooh, do you knit or crochet? Would you like to do a wool swap?
I'm trying to train myself out of going straight into binge-mode at the smell of pizza. I used to eat the whole thing and go for more, so stopping one (Large!) slice short of the whole thing was a big breakthrough. Now I need to work on stopping when I'm full :x
Staying safe, I promise! My teeth couldn't take the acid from purging :x
Omg really? You would? :D I feel honoured, I truly do <3
Hope you're having a good day. Take care, ok?
Luffles you!