Work is good, but stressful. Yesterday we had a woman try to take a child without her photo ID. We make the parents (or whoever is picking up) show photo ID so that we know that they are approved to pick up. It's a security thing. This woman didn't have any ID (how is she driving without her license??), and she tried to take her kid three times while I was calling my supervisor. I almost had to call the police on her! Ridiculous. Other than that, no specific drama to mention.
My friend Diana (name has been changed, as with all the people I mention on this blog) came to visit me this weekend, which was fantastic! We hung out and visited some places around my city, and had a wonderful time. We also talked about some pretty intense stuff, which was good for both of us. I wish she hadn't had to go home! I miss her already :(
My therapist and I have been talking about the ways in which my trauma experiences have affected me, and I thought I'd share some of what I've been journaling about. This stuff is about Morgan, the woman who raped me.
Positives
- I know that I have the strength to do the right thing (like report her).
- I haven’t retaliated against her or any of the friends that sided with her.
- I found out who my true friends were because of what happened.
- It made me stop wanting to hook up with people so much.
- It made me stop drinking so much (i.e. I might have 4 drinks now instead of 10).
Negatives
- I never want to have sex or do anything that involves below-the-waist contact EVER AGAIN.
- I feel like a dirty skank.
- I often wonder if what she said is true, and if I am crazier than I thought.
- I have enemies at my school, and I know that people judge me by it.
- I feel like maybe it didn't count as much because I don’t remember.
- I HATE that I can’t remember, and the made-up memories of what might have happened are worse than the real ones.
- The whole situation makes me want to cut.
Hi,
ReplyDeleteI am new to this blog thing I have enjoyed reading yours it is funny how just a simply post makes some people feel a little connected. Look forward to reading more.
I'm so glad places like your work check for id. I know places my son has been do that too, at least until they get to know/recognize you. I never minded showing his new/sub teachers @ head start my id because I knew that meant the children were safe there.
ReplyDeleteI think it's great that you can find positives from a situation that would be so much easier to find all the negatives. :)
OMFG is that Dralion's fraternal twin in that pic??? 0.0
ReplyDeleteID check=DAMN good idea.
Replies to your negatives:
-I hope not! Somethign tells me you could turn the straightest chick on earth to the 'dark side' of skirt lovin' :p
-That's a normal feeling. But it's pure BULLSHIT.
-She's trying to attack you, undermine and make you feel worse. Ignore her.
-That tells me there are a whole bunch of total FUCKWADS at your school. Now you know who are the dipshits its best to avoid wasting time on.
-Still counts.
-*Shudders* The cockroach you can't see is worse than the 10 you can. Try not to think about the gory details so much, if you can? *Huggles*
-Don't let that bitch put more marks on you than she already has.
Love you <3 HEAPS AND HEAPS AND HEAPS