Tuesday, July 26, 2011
Sometimes, therapy sucks.
I had a therapy session today and we went over that list from my last post. I had two lists, one for Morgan and one for Isaac. They are both longer than the ones on my blog. I had to read them aloud, and then I had to respond to each point as if I was talking to a friend (like you did, Peri!). BLAH. IT SUCKED. I am pretty sure I cried for the whole session. FUZZMONKEYS. Even though I have been told that I'm not dirty, I didn't deserve it, it's not my fault, it's really hard to say it to myself. I guess I didn't realize until today that I am still blaming myself for what happened. And that sucks! I wish it would just go away!! Now my therapist wants me to write out those comments, like I'm talking to a friend (me), and then read it aloud to myself. FUZZMONKEYS. I DON'T WANT TO!! It's gonna suck, but I'll make it through.
On a similar note, I am having coffee on Thursday with a friend who was also assaulted around the same time I was. She doesn't go to my school, and we're actually not close friends at all. But I heard from someone else that she had been assaulted, and I made sure to tell her that she could talk to me if she needed anything. We did end up talking in December (during winter break), and now we're going to have coffee! I am excited to catch up with her and see how she's doing :) You want to know something else? When I was talking to "myself" today in therapy, I was imagining that it was her. I know that the things I was saying to myself are things that she needs to hear too. I hope we have a wonderful coffee date!! :-D
Weeeellll, that's about it. I'm going to sleep now! Well, let's be realistic: I'm going to consider going to sleep now, lol. Bye! Love you all!!!