Sunday, November 7, 2010
I really need to grow a brain
Yesterday I signed up for OkCupid, which is an internet dating sight. I signed up because I'm doing a research paper on internet dating, and decided to get some firsthand knowledge. In the first 30 minutes of me joining, I was talking to three or four people, all who wanted casual sex. The first two I turned down because they were creepy dudes. But the third was this really nice 18-year old woman. We chatted for a few hours by email before she even brought up the fact that she was looking for a woman to join a threesome with her and her boyfriend. For some odd reason (maybe I was flattered? maybe I was looking to try something new?) I thought that it would be a great idea. But of course, I was still super careful. I refused to give her my phone number. I agreed to meet her and her boyfriend for coffee at a coffee shop that is within walking distance from my college campus.
But here's where I get dumb. I didn't tell anyone where I was going. I thought about it, but I thought that if I told anyone they would be horrified and tell me not to go (this should have been my clue that it was a bad idea, but whatever). When I got there, they were pretty nice. We chatted for about 45 minutes, and then I got into their car. Dumb. Never get into a stranger's car! I have watched WAY too much Law and Order and CSI to get into a stranger's car willingly! The whole time, my alarm bells were going off. But I let them drive around, trying to figure out a place to go.
Finally, my common sense kicked in, and I told them that I wasn't comfortable anymore. They were super nice (thank God!) and took me back to the cafe. I am so glad I didn't die or something. I could have been kidnapped. I could have been raped. I could have died. But I didn't. I am positive that God is to thank for this. I know many of you aren't religious, but I am. I sent a quick prayer up to God on my way to the coffee shop last night, and I know He heard. Thank you God! I am so glad that I'm safe.
The other horrible thing about last night was that the guy in the couple reminded me of Creepy Old Guy. I dated this man when I was 16 who was 28, and I call him Creepy Old Guy. No one knew I was dating him. My friends barely knew and my family had no idea. We dated for four months before I came to my senses and broke it off. In fact, I actually broke up with him on the same day that I told my parents about my ED! Weird coincidence, huh? But anyways, he definitely took advantage of me, and I used to have nightmares about him. When I first got to college, I used to think I was seeing him everywhere (because he said he was going to come with me to college). Creepy! But the guy last night reminded me of him, and that totally freaked me out. A lot.
But the good news is that I came to my senses and I got myself out of there! I feel like I would not have done that a few years ago. I would have just gone with it.
I think I need to chill for a few weeks and focus on myself. No hooking up. No drinking. No crazy shit. Just me.