I had a little scare today guys. I went to Walgreen's after work this morning and purchased new razors. Here's where it gets scary and weird. I started cutting after I got home and it didn't hurt at all. Not one bit. Like, what? Then I took the blade away and noticed that I had cut really deep and there was a gaping hole in my wrist... shit. It took it 15 minutes to stop bleeding, and it was still gaping. I freaked out. I put a bandaid on it, and hoped it would be alright, but I couldn't stop thinking about how last time I had cuts like that, they got really infected. I really don't need an infected wound right now. After lunch, I finally got up the guts to tell a friend what was going on. She convinced me to go to the Health Center, where they cleaned it and put a steri-strip on it to keep it closed. I'm really glad I went, even though it was horribly embarrassing. They made me see a counselor before I left, which was really embarrassing too. I didn't want to talk to her. Mostly I was just really shaken up and scared. I mean, I could have died! It just makes me realize how I could accidentally cut too deep and die. It didn't even hurt! How is that possible?
I think this is a big wake-up call for me. I don't really want to die, even though I think about it all the time. For realz.
Ok, I really need to sleep. I'm going home for fall break tomorrow, and I need my rest. I hope you are all doing better than me :) And to my friend who helped me today, I LOVE YOU. You are amazing and fantastic and I am so glad I have you. Thank you.
Oh, that would be scary, but I'm glad you recognized the problem in time to do something about it & I hope that you will be more careful in the future (ideally you wouldn't cut at all anymore, but I know that's a huge hope). <3
ReplyDeleteliz babe! no shit thats scary! please dont cut! especially if you cant tell how deep you're going babe.. go home and get the rest you need babe xoxoxo i love you!
ReplyDeleteSo sad to hear this hon. ):
ReplyDeleteYou're so much better than suicide or hurting yourself.
Hang in there <3
Wow, I am so glad you are okay! I know stopping cutting is hard, but it is just as damaging as Ana, and I hope you can kick it to the curb just like you are doing so well with booting Ana out of your life too :) xoxo
ReplyDeleteDear GOD I'm glad you're ok Liz!
ReplyDeleteHave a good holiday, and a SAFE good holiday alright? Don't make me fly up there and kick your skinny, scar-covered behind! :p
Lol,it will happen for you soon!
ReplyDeleteUgh, I'm so tired from cramming I bombed the test. I should go to bed and get some sleep for tomorrow. I really just don't care about Uni any more! Terminal case of the CBFs.
Love you! You'd better stay safe or I'll so something horrible, like superglue your sharps to a jumbo jet or something. Coz I totally can from this distance! >.<
Have a good holiday <3