Paranoid

I think I'm crazy. I am completely convinced that every new person who is nice to me just wants to get into my pants. Tonight, I was talking to this nice guy at dinner, and I was convinced that he was hitting on me. Are people just nice by themselves, without wanting something in return? He invited me to a party in his room tonight, in about an hour. Half of me wants to go, but there will be alcohol, and that sounds like a temptation that I don't need. I don't know what I want. It totally freaks me out that someone would be hitting on me. I just can't think about affection or sex right now. I'm totally fucked up because of this rape thing. I never want to have sex or a relationship again. I am really paranoid about the people I meet and I feel like I can never trust anyone new. I'm even having trouble trusting my good friends. I mostly just want to isolate myself and not talk to anyone, because then I wouldn't have to trust them. I feel like if I talk to anyone, they will tell one of my enemies what I say, and then things will get worse. Honestly, nothing has really happened since I've been back at school. No one I don't like has talked to me. No one has threatened me. No one has talked shit about me. I've heard rumors about myself, but nothing I didn't already know. It's just me. I'm just crazy.