Thursday, September 22, 2011

Zombie

So I guess the last time I posted was a week ago. It's been a really, really, really long week. I feel like each day is a week in itself, yet I never seem to get anything done. And I am so so tired all the time. I'm sleeping an average of 4 hours per night. I might have been averaging 6 hours per night during the first week of classes, but it's been pretty consistently 4 or 5 hours averaged since then. I'm a zombie. I'm an emotional wreck because I'm so tired. I'm overwhelmed by all the things I need to get done in the next three weeks. I cry a lot. My hands shake more than usual and my handwriting is getting significantly worse because of that. My stress level is through the roof.

Basically, I need a break. But I don't have time for one. I don't even have time to be writing this.

I'm just so burnt out already. I am officially a quarter through with the semester, and I'm already dead. It feels like finals week, but it's not. I don't know how I'm going to make it through the rest of the semester. I still have to apply to graduate school too.

I was seriously considering self-injury last night, because I know that it helps me relax. Isn't that sad, that I consider hurting myself over school work?

Guys, I'm not going to make it. I'm scared.

4 comments:

  1. Hang in there! I believe you will get through this. Self-injuring isn't going to help anything but hurt you more. Please just keep hanging in there. It is going to be ok. And please try to sleep! Sleep makes everything better. I love you so much!

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  2. *hugs* I'm so sorry things are extremely stressful, and so quickly, too. I wish I knew how to help... It's not like you need my help editing papers you have due, since you do them early most of the time... But if there's anything you think I can help you with, please let me know! You're a strong person.

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  3. First Priority: GET SOME MORE SLEEP. Lack of sleep is like opening the door wide and inviting in all sorts of randoms to mess with your stuff. Just don't do it. Start making sure you get more snooze time, stat. It's fucking impossible to concentrate and learn things when you're tweaking out from sleep deprivation!

    I loved your comment so much, thank you for taking the time to read. Honestly, though: Sleep is more important. You need to look after yourself if you want to make it to the middle of the semester without freaking out hard.

    Can you drop a paper to free up some time? Can you read chapter summaries instead of wading through the whole thing? The key to Uni: Work SMART, not HARD.

    Speaking of which, I'd better go do some study so I can actually READ the questions in my final exam -.-; Fucking Kanji, why couldn't the Japanese have nicked the simplified versions??? Dickheads.

    LOVE YOU! Please look after yourself! Uni will always be there to come back to, your sanity won't if you don't tend it like an orchid.

    *Hugs* <3

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  4. I know how you feel, today felt like the worst day of my life. You may think that it cannot get any worse than it is right now, but if you are at the bottom, it definitely means there is only way. And that is up. You will make it. I'm sure of it. <3

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