I'm sorry I've been such a lax poster lately. I don't want to say that I'm totally "healed" or whatever, but there's only so much I can say about my ED recovery, my crushes, my alcohol use, etc. I'm really doing alright though. I'm finally up to my 200mg of Lamictal as planned, and is seems to be working pretty well. I feel less crazy than before, which is always nice ;) My eating is ok, same as usual. I've been trying to exercise more, but I'm so tired all the time that it's very hard. If I'm not really sleepy, which I am most of the time, then I'm just very fatigued. Walking up the stairs is exhausting sometimes. I don't know what that's about. Maybe I'm iron-deficient. Whatever it is, it's a pain in the you-know-what.
I did end up drinking this weekend, and it was great. My friend and I started with a 4 beer limit each, and we didn't exactly stick to that. However, I only had 5.5 beers. That's radically different from my usual intake of 12 drinks, so I'd call it a victory. I think the problem was that my friend was trusting me to know how tipsy I was, and I really can't tell a lot of the time. So I was probably good around 4 or 5, and did not need that last bit. This weekend we are going to the Broken Hearts party at one of the sororities, and we are going to cap ourselves at 4 beers (for reals this time!). Well, it's 4 for me and 3 for her, because she's a lightweight. It should be fun :)
In other news, I've had a radical change in faith. I've always been a religious person, or at least someone who believes in God, but I've never done much about it. In high school, I tried out Wicca, but quickly decided that it wasn't for me. Then I found Christianity and it just fit. However, I've never felt completely comfortable with it because I've had a lot of personal issues holding me back from God. This brings me to this past Saturday. I attend Christian Fellowship meetings at my college, and we went on a trip to the Rock and Worship Roadshow in Madison (a Christian concert with several bands, including MercyMe, The Afters, Anthem Lights, and Matt Maher). IT WAS SO AMAZING! It was the best experience of my life. During the show, I suddenly realized that I wanted to commit myself to the Lord more, and I started praying for help with that. Then, just as I finished praying about it, the current band on stage started talking about committing your life to God. It was completely a sign from God! It couldn't have been clearer what I needed to do. Since the concert, I've been on a high. For once in my life, I want to pray and read the Bible ALL THE TIME. I've been listening to Christian music non-stop and I'm already almost done with the Gospels, which I've never actually read before. And they're interesting and useful! I never knew :) It's a pretty radical change for me to go from lukewarm to burning hot in just a few hours, but I'll take whatever I can get! I just thank God for helping me get here, and I'm sorry it took me so long, because it's amazing.
So to end this post, I guess I want to say that I'm not going to be posting a lot. I have another blog, a religious one, that I have been posting a lot more on lately. If you want the link, just send me an email (firstname.lastname@example.org) and I'll give it to you. I'll update you all every once and a while to let you know anything important going on, but I feel like I've sort of lost my following and I don't have much to say anymore. This could change, but we'll see what happens :) I love you all! Feel free to email me whenever you want :)