Grad school has been crazy. The semester is ending and I only have one more final exam before I'm FREEEE :) Then my summer classes start in a month, haha. But it will be nice to have a month without classes, although I'm still doing my internship and working. This summer, I am taking Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, Treatment of Mental Disorders, and another class. The other class will be either Motivational Interviewing or Dialectical Behavior Therapy. But I haven't decided yet, so TBD.
My internship is still awesome. I love every minute of it. Sometimes, though, it makes me sad. These kids come into my office and are so young, and yet have so many issues already. It breaks my heart to hospitalize 5 year olds. And the teenagers are the saddest for me, especially the ones who self-injure and are suicidal. I got a really sad 14 year old girl last week, depressed and cutting her stomach every day. Usually, I can handle stuff like that. But to hear this beautiful girl tell me that she cuts herself because she feels ugly and wants her outside to match her inside... that was heartbreaking. Poor kid. Sometimes I wonder if I'm cut out for this profession. I hope that I am. I really hope that I can do this.
The depression has been getting better. We've been upping my dose of Wellbutrin steadily for the past two months, so I'm at 200 mg right now. The physical symptoms have been getting better (concentration, sleep, fatigue), and the mental symptoms are starting to improve. I spend less time being miserable and suicidal, and more time being able to function. I have happy days. So things are good. I did cut myself several times, but that was over a month ago, and it wasn't too bad.
Overall, I'm optimistic. Life is difficult, but this will pass. I am just looking forward to Wednesday night, when my final exam is over and I'm finally done with my first year of graduate school. YAY! It's going to be awesome.
Love you guys :) Thanks for sticking with me.
Great to hear from you...I need your personal opinon if you could give it to me. I am changing my major well actually just adding another one to include psychology so that I can help children with not only the criminal side but mental side also. Here is my problem. I feel that while I know my past experiences can play a big part in helping them I also thing who am I to tell this children to get help when I am so fucked up myself. How do you feel about this. Thank for giving me your thoughts.
ReplyDeleteBilmey but you've been busy! AND I'VE MISSED YOOOOOOOOU!
ReplyDeleteDBT would work with the CBT, and you'll be able to work out when it's working and not working. (Milly has been thrown in DBT and it's not good for severe borderline. It reinforces all the negative head-shit and the techniques can be abused like anything else)
Gods but your job would break my heart. I can sympathise with that girl so much it hurts. I wish I could give them all a massive hug.
I'm so happy to hear that things are improving! After classes are done you'll have more time to blog and tell us about your days, yes? *puppydog eyes*
My favourite quote right now is: It doesn't get easier; you get stronger. Lets become stronger so this shit can't beat us, ok?
Love you and miss you and I hope the next few weeks go awesomely <3