Saturday, May 5, 2012

CRAZINESS update :)

I am SO SORRY I haven't posted in forever. For a while, I honestly forgot about this blog. My life has been a little hectic the last month or so, and I just totally flaked. One reason I haven't blogged is because I have been sans laptop and living off the computers in the psychology lounge at school. I sent in my laptop to Toshiba to fix the webcam, it came back with a cracked screen, I filed a complaint and sent it back, it came back cracked again, and I FINALLY got it back in one piece today. 1.5 months later. Geez.
Let me try to gather my thoughts. Here is a general synopsis of everything that has been happening:
  1. My diet died, haha. I knew I couldn't keep it up, especially when I realized that I was getting a little obsessive. I started seeing things in terms of "good days" and "bad days" and "good foods" and "bad foods," and I knew it was time to stop. I have been eating pretty unhealthily since, but whatever. I'm not super bothered by it, as long as I stop eating so freaking much by graduation.
  2. Eating stuff is okay, although I have been doing a lot of emotional/boredom/stress eating recently. Stupid girl hormones.
  3. I'M GRADUATING IN 9 DAYS! OH MY GOSH! It's crazy. I finished classes on Wednesday, and my only final exam is on Tuesday (the 8th). And then I graduate on Sunday, May 13th. It is soooo weird to be almost done with my undergraduate career, but it feels good. I'm super ready to leave this place.
  4. I picked a graduate school! In the fall, I will officially be going to the Brown School of Social Work at Washington University in St. Louis! It's super expensive and I'm going to have crazy student loans (and so will my parents), but it will be worth it. Top program in the US, baby! I officially decided about a week ago, after I visited the school for a weekend. It was AMAZING and I'm so incredibly excited to be there in the fall. Orientation is the week of August 20th!
  5. I am almost done with my thesis! All it needs are final edits, and then I'm finished. My adviser already graded it (without my permission, I might add) and I got an A! And I think I'm graduating with departmental honors! Yay!
  6. I am happy. Like actually happy. No medication, no therapy. Happy! I know this is going to sound crazy, but it's God. Once I stopped freaking out, pitying myself, and using man-made techniques, and I started trusting Him with my depression, things got a thousand times better. I haven't felt depressed in almost two months, which is NUTS. This hasn't happened since I was 12! I'm amazing and truly blessed.
  7. I have a summer job! I am (almost) officially working at the science museum that I work at every summer. Glad to have a job, but wishing I was in graduate school NOW instead of in August.
  8. This semester has been a time of crazy spiritual growth, and I have become a lot closer to God recently. This has led to some surprising changes in my views, personally, religiously, and politically. But I am honestly okay with it all. I am at complete peace with my life and I'm ready for whatever God throws at me next. I live to do His will and build His kingdom! :)
Well, that's about it. I hope I haven't left anything out! There is so much to tell about the last month and a half, and there just isn't space. I love you all <3


  1. You've been busy as all fuck, i don't blame you for not being around blogger! I've got mates doing/have done their doctoral theses, I understand this!

    And the computer stuff? Ugh, they're just like Vietches with my bike. It failed the warrant on the SAME FUCKING FAULT I tried to get them to fix three times last year!

    1) GOOD ON YOU! Killing the diet before it became a DIEt :D
    2) Me too. Maybe we should look at pron instead of mindlessly nibbling when bored? Hot girly pron?
    4) If it would help you go to your Dream School, I'd dance naked in the Octagon.
    5) OMFG AWESOME! :D :D :D
    6) Fucking. Epic. You make me wish I was a religious-type person. I have been putting off working through the solo work outlined in Evolutionary Witchcraft (Feri Wicca= A Revolutionary Feminist form of Paganism) but I'm a sook and don't know if I have the energy left for pursuing religious questions right now. If I died now as was faced with an afterlife I'd probably try to strangle whatever spirit was guiding me to it. Lol, it was fear of possibly being reincarnated and forced to go through another abusive childhood that stopped me from topping myself when I was 10!
    7) WOOT! Job in a museum? I'm jealous :p
    8) Spiritual growth=Good. Going on my past experiences I;m going to be a dick and say: Please don't go all scary bornagain/westboro baptist? 0.0; I know that most religious people of any faith aren't like that at all, but past experience with a few random fanatics makes me a little uneasy when religion is brought up >.< Sorry for being a dick.

    Love you so much and I'm so unbelievably glad to hear that you're happy and things are going well. Doing a little happy dance to Nyan cat just for you :p

    Good luck with Uni and work and Grad school. *Massive squeezy hugs*

  2. Careful, now, about letting religion influence political views since not everyone believes in your god.

    1. So what, I should just not let the most fundamental part of myself influence the way that I vote? Seems silly.

  3. Good to hear things are going well :)