HELLO!

Hi! Wow, it's only been like two weeks since my last post - AMAZING! :)

So here's the scoop. I just started seeing my new substance abuse clients. I have five total now, but I've only seen two so far. Let me just say, it is SO DIFFERENT working with men than women. Up till now, all my clients have been women. And this man that I saw on Tuesday was suuuuper awkward. It was like pulling teeth to get him to talk. And then I think he felt awkward because we were talking about his multiple girlfriends (who don't know about each other...) and I think that he thought that I was judging him. Which I wasn't. But whatever. The other different thing about substance abuse clients is that many of them are on probation/parole, so I have to do extra paperwork and send reports to their probation/parole officers. Weird! And I might have to learn how to administer urine analysis tests. Ew.

Other than my new clients, things are okay. On Friday it'll be six months of no self-harm. Weird. Therapy is going well. We've just started talking about my sexual assault, so that kinda sucks. But I think that if we avoided the subject, then I'd just avoid it forever, and that's not helpful. I need to process this stuff so that I can be a better counselor and a better romantic partner and a better person.

UGGGGGGGGG I'm just so tired! I've been applying for jobs and stuff, and that's really exhausting. Yuck. I'll let you know if I get an interview or anything though! That would be awesome.

Love you all! :)

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So I pretty much fail at blogging! It's been like three months... I'm sorry! I've been crazy busy, and then I just didn't feel like it. So really, no excuses. I should start blogging daily again. That would be good.

Since my last post:

• Lost all my clients but one.
• Gained a client (so now I have two clients).
• Trying not to take it personally that all my clients quit (well, some of them didn't need therapy or didn't know what therapy was, so not my fault).
• Am about to start taking substance abuse clients! So maybe 5 or 6 new clients in the near future! 
• Still seeing my awesome counselor, working on my self-worth issues. Apparently, I don't value myself or my life. I think I knew that, but I didn't know it was so bad. Guess I was just fooling myself. 
• Haven't self-harmed in 5 months and 1 week! Sometimes, I am happy about that. And sometimes, I hate it and just want to self-harm again.
• Finished fall semester and began my FINAL semester of grad school!! I graduate officially on May 16th. I will officially be an MSW (Master's of Social Work) and hopefully an LMSW (Licensed Master's of Social Work -- need to take an exam for that one). 
• About 2.5 weeks ago, two of my close friends from college were killed in a traffic accident in northern Wisconsin. So basically, my world has come crashing down and everything sucks. I'm a little depressed, obviously. 
• But other than that, things are going surprisingly well with my mental health. 
• I'm worried that I have breast cancer. I know that Google is not a doctor, but Google says I have cancer. I think it's a legit concern, so I'm going to the doctor soon. Trying not to freak out.

I miss you guys! I'll try to write more often <3 div="">